Homesick (If I Could).

If I could see you
one last time
I'd spend it smiling
because laying in your presence
was a paradise
unparalleled;
one I'm not sure
I knew just how to appreciate
until I lost sight
of its shore.

And if I could kiss you
one last time
it would be with a passion
that would surprise us both
and I'd pull you
close as I could
and I'd let you run your hands
over the curves of my body
without wincing
and you'd know
you were wanted
and so would I.

If I could make love to you
one last time
it would be with
a daring side and a confidence I never had
to show you everything
with the lights on
and the covers off
and a readiness
to take on all of you.

And if I could fall asleep here
one last time
it would be
completely undressed
and intertwined
and ready to share
and love
all the things
I might have hidden
because asymmetry
and stretch marks
aren't some dark fucking secrets.

If I could laugh with you
one last time
it would be a loud and
unapologetic thing
rising from my chest
and there would be an easiness
to it
that my insecurities so often smothered.

And if I could spend
one last day
in the foyer
of our love
I'd photograph
every eave
and try my best
to memorize the way
the light warped in color
through the stained glass
above the stairs
and perhaps today
I'd be
less homesick.